


Nobody's Fault But Mine

by caramelkaren



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 15:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelkaren/pseuds/caramelkaren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Martin didn't become a pilot but got a more sensible job instead like his father wanted.  Caitlin comes to visit Martin to talk about her own possibility of retiring, and Martin reveals a deep down regret for his choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody's Fault But Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Cabin Crew Riot Two! Prompt #2: Stages of Life (Elder Years)
> 
> Writing from what is basically the perspective of a character we see for what, one scene (?) is actually quite an interesting task.

Caitlin had decided that today was a good day to visit her older brother Martin. It wasn't raining outside so her car wouldn't swerve around on wet pavement, it wasn't too hot that they'd be uncomfortable the entire time they talked, and she had nothing to do that day. Of course Martin would most likely have nothing to do either. After all, he was retired now. Had been for the past 4 years.

It was crazy how they were already up there to senior citizen age. Caitlin could still remember when they were just kids and how Martin would recruit her to play aeroplanes together. She could still remember Simon tutoring her when she didn't understand her homework. She could remember Christmases and Easters and Halloweens past. She remembered watching as Simon went off to uni for politics. She could remember Martin and Dad fighting over what he wanted to do with his life.

That was a very awkward time for their family. Not only had Simon just left and so her parents were trying to deal with the “loss” of their first child (at least that was how Mum termed it), but near constantly someone (usually Martin it seemed) was causing a fight. Of course Martin was persistent that he was going to become a pilot whether he liked it or not.

Caitlin could still remember as she was making her way through uni (actually, more like partying her way through uni), Martin was taking his CPL over and over again. He was determined. He wasn't going to let anything get in the way of being a pilot.

It was when their father died that everything changed.

While both Simon and she had gotten inheritance in the form of money, Martin had been left with the van. Caitlin of course felt absolutely sorry for him. After all, how could someone just deny their child anything of actual worth? And no, that van was not worth much of anything. It was a piece of junk and actually should've been sent to the scrapheap when he died instead.g But her father's will expressed in clear terms that she was not allowed to give any of her money away to him. If there was one thing she had learned from watching Martin and Dad fight was that going against his wishes was nothing but trouble.

But Martin. Despite the fact her memory was fading in her old age, she could still remember as clear as a bell what he said that day.

"Dad really doesn't believe in me. I mean, I knew he never wanted me to be a pilot, but this...This is cruel. I bet if I would've just done as he said and went to uni for something more...sensible, then maybe, well, maybe he would've been proud of me. Maybe I would've been high enough in his eyes to get the same sort of inheritance you did."

It was his father's death that made him give up the dream.

He went on to uni just around the time Caitlin had dropped out. Her parents knew that she was constantly switching her studies, but they never knew it was because she was failing to receive the necessary requirements needed. She was having too much fun partying. Seeing Martin continuously claim that he was a failure in Dad's eyes made her realize that honestly she was the failure. Martin was actually doing something productive with his life, even if he hadn't actually passed the test yet. She was wasting all her opportunities away. So she dropped out wracked with guilt and took on a job as a traffic warden. It was sensible and it paid, that was all that mattered.

Martin on the other hand went and studied engineering. He decided that he knew enough about planes that maybe he could try to be one of the people behind the designing of them. And that's what he did, he went on to be quite a successful aeroplane maker. From what she had heard, her brother was fantastic at spotting out just what about a plane or a jet needed to be improved upon. He seemed to be one of the best in the business. Which was good. He earned a lot of money and was respected. She was very proud of him.

Caitlin finally arrived at Martin's place to find him sitting on the front porch. She recognized him, but without that ginger mop it didn't feel like him. He was the anomaly of the family. Everyone else had either rich dark brown locks or mousy brown strands. Where did that bright shade even come from? But now it had all faded into grey...

“Hello big brother,” she called up to him.

“Caitlin! What a wonderful surprise!”

“I knew you'd be happy to see me here.”

“I am. You're pretty much the only one who does after all.”

That was true. It seemed as though Simon eventually drifted away from them. He still stayed pretty tightly knit with the family when he only occupied a minor position in the government. But when he became the mayor of Wokingham, well, that was the end of that. He only visited them around the holidays. And of course Mum had passed years ago, and their more extended family just never really did bother by the time they had all settled comfortably into their jobs. And Martin never really did talk to her much about friends. Which made sense, after all, Martin was quite the socially awkward kid. It wouldn't be too surprising if that carried over into adulthood. She was amazed actually that he ever managed to get married.

“Which is why I try to visit as often as I can. So, how's life been lately?”

“Not bad. I'm home alone right now as Louise is out getting the groceries, so it's a good thing you came now. When there's no one here it gets quite boring.”

“I know the feeling.”

“So how have you been?”

“Good. I've been considering my own retirement here.”

“Oh really? Gosh, that'll leave only Simon going.”

“He's going to work in politics until he drops.”  
“That sounds about right. But I'm guessing you decided to retire now that you're finally at that age because you hate your job?”

“Exactly.”

“I never did tell you this, but that's almost part of the reason I retired as soon as I was 65 too.”

“Wait, what?”

“Just because I was really proud of what I did with aeroplanes doesn't mean I was completely happy with it. In fact, I think I would've been a hell of a lot happier if I had just stuck with my guts and became a pilot. No, I know I would've been. It was my dream, Caitlin. Why did I just decide that since Dad was dead that the best legacy I could give him was finally caving in and doing as he said? It wasn't like he could tell me what to do anymore. I should've been flying high! I should've been embracing the absolute freedom I now had to do whatever I want! But no, I had to chain myself down to the ground.”

“I had no idea. In all the times you talked about your job, you sounded happy.”

“It's not too hard to fake it when you do have improvements to be proud of. I mean, I love that I was able to make flying planes more efficient and safer for other people that actually did follow their piloting dreams, but of course it's not the same.”

“Quite right.”

“Do you want to know the one time I realized I had chosen the wrong path? One day I was being commissioned to repair this one really old plane. A Lockheed McDonnell. I'll never forget that. I couldn't believe it was still flying! But this airline could barely be called an airline. They only had that one jet. They were quite a down-on-their-luck company. When they told me their financial situation, I decided to help fix it up for free. I mean, by this point people all throughout the aeroplane industry were calling me up constantly. What was one free job going to hurt me?”

“I get it.”

“So I was fixing their plane up, and their owner, well, she was an elder lady. I was quite shocked, I mean, women pilots are quite rare, but CEOs? And at her age? Impressive. She was talking to me, and she mentioned how soon their current captain was going to quit soon because he couldn't take not being paid. I found myself thinking that if I had my license that I would happily take his place. I was willing to stop at what was possibly the peak of my career to fly a plane for free. Eagerly willing. I knew right then and there that I had done the wrong thing with my life.”

“So what happened to the airline?”

“They folded. Sad, but I guess it was necessary. After all, once the captain was gone, what else could they do? After all, who else would be willing to fly for free? Other than me.”

“I don't know. But really? For free?”

“I'd rather get to do what I love than be paid for something I hate. Too bad I didn't realize that sooner.”

**Author's Note:**

> The title was a sort of last minute lets-shuffle-my-iPod-for-inspiration deal. If you know who did the song I stole the title from, you get a cookie.


End file.
